How do I cope with high depression?

So for as long as seventh grade (I’m in ninth), I’ve been depressed. I’ve done everything, cut, starve, do drugs, read, write, things that not everyone, but a lot have gone through. But the thing that helped me the most was that I could do 2 things that a lot of people can’t do… Sing, and be extremely flexible. I did want to do gymnastics when I was young, but I was always told that I couldn’t do it. I always wanted to be a rock star, but then again who doesn’t? Anyways, everyone that I was close to told me I couldn’t do it, I was to shy, or I was to dependent on people. How old was I? When I wanted to be a gymnast, I was 8. When I wanted to be a rock star, I was 12. I went into foster care, a little before I turned 13, but still, everyone that I had met, told me, I could never do that, I had really bad stage fright. But did that stop me? No, I am still practicing my singing, so that I can get better. No, my mom stays by my side and tells me everyday that I can do anything. Did I care if my own father abused me to try and stop my outrageous dreams from coming true? No, I am still looking for my opportunity, I still to this day, at 15 years old want to be a rock star. Why? Because music helps me go through my hard time why can’t it help others. I believe that music is the only thing that saves my life anymore. Everyday, I think about how much I hate myself, and how much I wish to die, and how I could successfully commit suicide. But the thing that keeps me moving and going everyday, is music. No, that doesn’t help everyone, but it helps me. I sing nonstop, my parents (I live with my mom and step dad) want to make me shut up. Heck I guarantee I am singing right at this moment. The most specific band that helped me cope and stay alive was… Black Veil Brides, Asking Alexandria, Falling in Reverse, Panic! At The Disco, and Pierce The Veil. They are my true idols, yes they are like everyone else and make mistakes, but they do everything they can to fix they sing about how that had made a mistake and how they are going to fix it. The difference between them and pop, is that they don’t whine about the problems, they talk about them. I do what I can to fix my mistakes, and I guarantee that you do what you can to fix your mistakes. I am not saying that I’m stopped being depressed, what I’m saying is that I am less depressed than i used to be. Some people out there have toi take antidepressants, I know how they feel, trust me, I never wanted to be on medication, much less drugs, yet that is what most people turn to, that’s what I turned to. Do I regret a lot of things that I had done to be happy? Absolutely, if I could go back, I would have changed everything. I would have told myself to pursue my dreams and become a killer rock star, but unfortunately, I can’t so I have to live, thinking everyday that I messed up my life, and I’m the only one who can fix it. I am perfect the way I am. As are you. Don’t think for a second that you’re not because, everyone has their flaws, and everyone has their perfections. Just because you think that you aren’t beautiful, just means that some one out there (even though you probably don’t know who) thinks you are. Whether you’re a girl a boy, a transgender, a gay, a lesbian, or a bisexual person doesn’t mean anything, you are worth some thing. Even though those bullies in your school think that doesn’t mean that they are right. So think to yourself that you are worth it, and that you want to prove some one wrong, and show that you can doi what you want in life. You can control your life, you just have to chose how. 

So when the next time those stupid bullies do their thing, not only are the picking a fight with you, but with me, yoiur actual friends, your parents, and the people that care about ypou the most. So as usual I close with the official… If you have questions you can contact me by the comments. Please like, comment, vote or what ever you lovelies do. Love y’all. 


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